A Year in Grenada

Happy Anniversary to us, Happy Anniversary to us...

Well it hardly seems possible that it is a year today since we landed in Grenada and stepped innocently off the plane on to the hot tarmac and had our nasal passages rudely assaulted by the smell of nutmeg and various spices wafting across the airport. Mind you that’s greatly preferable to having your anal passages rudely assaulted as happens if you step off the plane at Newark airport.

We didn’t for one moment believe we were stepping into paradise and all our troubles would be swept away but on the other hand we didn’t have any idea quite how tough it was going to be... and what a culture shock! BUT as they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and as I write this we are happily ensconced in our little boat house which whilst it is sadly nothing like what appeared on our original plans, is very cute and we rather like it.

Apparently we are even catching a cultural wave, for it seems, according to this month’s ‘House Beautiful’ magazine (and I trust they know more about interior design than they do about sentence construction...House Beautiful? Surely some mistake? Ed) “small is the new big”. There’s another piece of idiotic sentence construction.

Anyway it seems we are all cutting back and craving a simpler lifestyle and none of us have been forced into it... honest! Big houses are now rather vulgar... sorry, I know a lot of you live in very big, beautiful houses but you’re going to have to get rid of them pronto if you don’t want to appear embarrassingly out of step with current fashions! Some people seemingly have taken this philosophy so far as to insist on living with only 100 things? I’m all for a simpler life but, 100 things? I’m not sure I could do that. Maybe if my brushes and paints were counted as one item and our books were another item (could we call it a library and claim it’s one thing?) but I believe that’s not in the spirit of things. I think they really do mean living with one pair of shoes, a knife and fork, a lamp, a table, a pair of knickers and one loo roll and well think about it... it’s impossible surely!

Well even in our little house we have a lot more than 100 things but it does seem simpler when it’s smaller. Apart from our little house we also have garden walls ...there’s posh for you... and we now even have a gate. There is something rather special about being able to close off your space to the world. One beach house is absolutely ready and the other is just having the finishing touches to the kitchen done and as we speak the guys are about to turn on the taps to fill the swimming pool which is also finished now. So we really are nearing the end of the odyssey. Everyone here tells us, to build 3 houses in one year in Grenada is surely a national record. I have to say it was a nice change from all the horror stories you hear about builders in Grenada to find Mike Jordan... a laid back Californian who built our Boat House and did it on time and on budget to the penny. He even threw in a fire place for me as a birthday present. I happened to mention on my birthday (and no I wasn’t dropping hints) how much I liked fireplaces and he said he’d make me one for me for nothing. My kind of builder.

You’ve all watched ‘A Place in the Sun’ well this is ‘A (fire) place in the sun’. So OK it doesn’t work and it’s very silly to have a fire place with all this wonderful weather but I just love the cosy configuration of a big sofa in front of a fireplace, now complete with a huge candle in a ceramic bowl courtesy of my brother and his wife and cupboards/shelves either side stacked with books and CDs and photos. (By the way does this new philosophy mean you can only have one or two CDs? I suppose you would have an ipod but it’s not the same, I like looking at the CDs and I have lots of vinyl too, which is very tactile).

Well apart from the staggering frustration and stress of building, we have also had some magical moments which will live in our memory forever. There are the almost clichéd delights of watching pelicans fishing every evening right in front of your house... it is a cliché but none the less rather wondrous when it’s happening to you. Then just the two of us, dancing in the moonlight on the dock of the bay (and no I can’t fit any more song titles in there) which is one of the nice things here because at the weekends everywhere, well lots of places, like beaches, bars and restaurants there is live music and it’s all free. You just wonder in and buy a Carib and join in. No fees, no membership, no dress code and most of them are topless bars... no bloody roofs, so if it starts raining it takes you 2 hours to finish your soup!

Then I’ve found two wonderful jobs to keep the old brain stimulated and made great friends in the process. A couple of weeks ago we sailed up through the Grenadines whilst recce’ing for a little documentary we are going to make for Horizon Motor Yachts and saw the most wonderful sights. Tobago Cays is just one of those places you have to see before you die. It’s how Hollywood would depict Eden if they had the imagination... and good taste. It is probably the only sight I’ve ever seen which literally takes your breath away. You sail between two pretty little islands completely unaware of what lies secreted behind them. Then suddenly you round the corner and there is this completely unspoilt archipelago with brilliant white sand, swaying palms, turquoise seas and turtles popping up all around you and more fish than Billingsgate Market. And what fish they are... they make Finding Nemo look rather dull. It was such a privilege to share the experience with my two boys who came along for the ride and got hooked (if you will excuse the pun) on the yachtie lifestyle.

Of course there is a catch... isn’t there always? The only way to get to Tobago Cays is on a yacht... but as it ‘appens, my son... we can sort you out on that. Stand by me son, I’ll see you right. So if you want to buy a yacht either with a bloody big sail or a bloody big engine (we don’t want to get too bogged down in nautical details here) then you know who to come to.

One final thing that this whole experience has taught us is some new skills. Well Kitty was always ridiculously multi-talented and can turn her hand to anything but I was always convinced that I was totally cack handed... a genetic throw back to my father who to this day I can picture spluttering and cursing under his breath as he tried and failed to do the simplest of tasks. Changing a plug seemed totally beyond him though studying the bible in the original Hebrew - when he was neither Jewish or religious - was not. It takes all sorts I suppose.

Still, having waited in vain for someone to build us some bedside tables I suddenly, in a rash moment had an epiphany (which always bring tears to your eyes) and thought... well how hard can it be? So armed with a few bits of scrap wood some nails and screws I built some not half bad bedside tables... it was great fun and ridiculously self-satisfying. You would have thought I’d won the Nobel peace prize or the lottery. In relating the tale to my chum Tony he said that he enjoyed joinery too. I was honour bound to point out that one would hardly categorise what I did ‘joinery’ but hey they are strong, hold things without falling over and even manage to look rather chic in a paired back, beach housey sort of way. So then we built a corner unit for the printer and router etc, another built-in wardrobe and this weekend it’s a TV cabinet... I know they are naff but you need them out here to protect from the sea blast. Then a bed next weekend and I’m, sure I’ll think of something after that. Well, as the Canadians say, if women don’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy!

So there we are... a year in Grenada and certainly the most challenging year of my life and what I’m feeling most terribly smug about is building a table that didn’t fall over. How your priorities change! Oh well!! We are now looking forward to hopefully a more peaceful second year and we truly hope that some of you will come and visit us. (We have already had our first paying guests, a young and very charming American couple who had a wonderful time). The thing we miss most of course is our dear friends so please plan a visit soon, it’s very cheap to get here and even cheaper when you are here to eat and drink and be merry. Our website will be up and running soon too so we’ll let you know when that is up... ignore the prices on there, you are friends so we’ll almost give it away in a bare faced attempt to bribe you into seeing us!

Shameless? Moi?